A certain amount of control is necessary in our lives – none of us would survive in chaos and total uncertainty. As babies and young children, we learned that a certain behavior caused a predictable result. This is not bad thing! We are smart! We begin noticing others and forming our behavior based on how others respond early in life. Just observe young children. They WATCH. They MIMIC. They then CREATE. We are ‘Social’ Animals who need and depend on others to thrive.
Our magnificent human brain takes ‘Notice’ of how others respond to us and is an expert at storing massive amounts of data. Just like a computer with its giant memory, we are gathering, storing and learning a specific roadmap that becomes our ‘Unique Self’.
That bring us back to how we take charge in our life. Everyone has a STYLE of control. An example is temper tantrums. Although most of us have long outgrown temper tantrums, some adults may still pout and manipulate to get his or her way. The silent treatment or withdrawal is simply a “dressed up” method used to control others. It might be thought of as a quiet temper tantrum. Even being excessively charming can be a subtle and effective style of control. Threats, punishments, or bribes are more obvious attempts at controlling the behavior of others. Physical ailments may be one of the most common yet unnoticed control devices. Take a moment to consider your methods of control. We all have them!